I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
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It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
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the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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