He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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