I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize