We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
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Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
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I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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