tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize