Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize