Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
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to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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