I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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