so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
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So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
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The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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