Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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