Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize