do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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