actually, I'm a sock model
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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