Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
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Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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