I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize