I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
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her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
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We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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