Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
How naked do you want me to be?
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