im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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