Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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