I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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