I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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