He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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