At least make sure they are 18
Why
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize