did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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