OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize