haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
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I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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