How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
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My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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