Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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