Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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