doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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