there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
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just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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