I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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