Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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