After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize