Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize