would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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