Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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