are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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