Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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