Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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