i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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