Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
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I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
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I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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