hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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