I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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