Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
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