Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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