Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
this is an emotional support booty call
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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