I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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