Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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