I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize